Within all of us are three very distinct voices. We tend to use the voice that we think will get us what we want at that moment, or the one that will make the person we are speaking to listen to us and respond.
The first voice is labeled our “child voice.” Simply put, it is our “whining voice.” We use it when we want people to feel sorry for us or to feel guilty for wronging us in some way.
The second voice is described as the “parent voice.” This is our “telling” voice. It is unique in that it has both positive and negative applications. Sarcasm and discouraging comments are at the root of the negative parent voice. The positive parent voice, however, has the exact opposite effect. Directives/instruction and information are delivered using language that is firm and controlled, yet nonthreatening.
The third voice is the “Adult voice”. The adult voice is the ‘grown up’ rational person who talks reasonably and assertively, neither trying to control nor reacting aggressively towards others. The adult voice encourages planning behaviors. The Adult is comfortable with themselves and is, for many of us, our ‘ideal self’.
Wishing you peace and wellbeing as you examine the primary “voice” you use when you are not getting what you want or need.
PS: Remember to hold the one’s you love just a little closer and tighter this week.